Category: Writers Block
He never really knew how deep she loved him. Although he loved her he never understood the extent of her feelings for him. He had been unfaithful and had not thought of her before hand. It was now obvious who at this point had loved who more. She was gone, and with an explaination that at this point was in custody in police. He would never understand, why? Why would she take her own life, when he was almost sure that she didn't know of his infidelity. Did someone see him with his mysterious lover? But she was not insync with anyone offiliated with his bride. Now because of his mistake his wife, his first and true love's life was now spent. Now what was left she killed herself at his fault. He knew it and so on and so forth as he raised the magnum to his head he cried "I love you Samantha!", and with one shot he lay in a pool of blood pulsless.
I think this is one of my more depressing pieces so if you are easy depressed better not to read.
This poem sounds more like a story. It was too obvious for me, with no interesting word choice.
you shouldmake it a story.
I agree with the previous posters. Don't say it show it. You can narrate the story with more details. Use more action words and disect your work into different sections. Add more creativity by using adjectives to define emotions and to describe the settings of the scene where the incident happened.
It never was meant to be a poem it was a short story but in escence I undterstand what you are saying. I will learn from this constructive critisism and work on it.